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Jack Atkinson
Phillip Lee Williams came last year to speak as a part of the Vision Series at East Georgia College. In his recent book, ADistant Flame, his main character is working on a speech to give in 1914 on the 50th anniversary of the Battle of Atlanta. But another theme in the book set in Madison, Georgia, is unrequited love. Until the end of his life he still has visions of his first love who was suddenly taken away to a distant land. This is the tender heart some have where love lasts long. Who has not suffered a broken heart? The answer is those who are very lucky or have never loved at all. There are those among our relatives or friends who never marry because of a relationship that went unfulfilled. I had an uncle who dated a lady in Garfield but married another. Miss Sarah Willie Harper never married and had to watch the love of her life marry another man in town. Some people cannot handle life when it seems their heart if coming crashing to the ground. Last week a good friend of mine who lives in a nearby county lost his brother-in-law. He was 32 and had a three month old child. When he tried to fix his relationship with his wife she demanded a divorce. He promptly went for a ride and committed suicide. What a solution for the surviving party: she inherits everything, does not even pay for a divorce and is free to do what she wishes. Fathers and sons have a lot in common. I remember how amazed I was at my oldest son when in his senior year in his small high school his girlfriend broke up with him. It was literally touch and go for weeks. He started giving away his possesions (most know this as a prelude to suicide). He was an uncontrolled basket case, running away from family therapy, totally unable to continue his life. God intervened and he recovered and is now happily married with three children. In those first days and weeks I would not have bet on his survival. At the height of his crisis I snatched him up and took him on a trip to Russia. I think he was miserable but the exotic land we saw helped give him time to restore him. In the 1960's Gene Pitney had a long run of hits characterized by his pained wail. He is remembered for such hits as Town Without Pity, It Hurts to Be in Love and Only Love Can Break a Heart. He died less than a year ago but his song continues to give us a key ingredient in the healing formula: Only love can break a heart and only love can mend it again. Mending the broken heart is big business and even on the internet Breakup.com is huge. It's come on is: Do you suffer from a broken heart? Are you heartbroken and want a cure for breaking up? Did you just get dumped by a first class heartbreaker? You are not alone! In just one search engine in one month the search term "broken heart" yielded a search over 9,000 times. A website tells us how to get over a breakup in 8 "easy" steps: l. Allow yourself to grieve over the loss - feelings of sadness, anger, shock and acceptance. 2. Take any expectation off yourself to get over it quickly you may need weeks, months or longer to get over it. 3. Take care of yourself. Get adequate rest, eat right and get some exercise. 4. Nurture yourself, relax, and take it easy do what makes you feel better (naps, baths, reading, watching movies). 5. Plan pleasurable activities with friends or family ahead of time to keep you busy and get your mind off the loss. 6. Consider joining a support group to be with others dealing with similar feelings. 7. Talk to your doctor about your sleep problems and depression. 8. Get a journal and write down what you have learned from the relationship about yourself, relationships and life.--Jack Atkinson is our regular guest columnist and a resident of Garfield.
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